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You're listening to the Vet Staff podcast, welcome.
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This is the place where you, the veterinary professional, can go to get your head screwed on straight so you can get excited about going to work on Monday mornings and be the most fantabulous, resilient version of you you can be.
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I'm your show host, julie South, and this is Episode 170.
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Today we are wrapping up the series on how you can strengthen one of your veterinary secret superpowers your resilience quotient.
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And this is the final episode, episode 12, in the series.
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Today I'm sharing what I have gotten out of all of the hundreds of hours of research that I've been doing over the last four to five months to make this resilience series happen.
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I've talked about your superpowers as veterinary professionals on this show before in different guises.
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This one on resiliency is the most intense, the most comprehensive one I've done, and I've enjoyed absolutely enjoyed doing the research, and I've learnt heaps.
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As I've said on every episode about resiliency, resiliency isn't a one and done thing.
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You can't just learn it and then put it away in a cupboard and only get it out when you need it, because by then it's too late.
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You actually need to be enhancing your resiliency skills long before you ever need to use them.
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I'm going to share two ways that I discovered that later, so please just stay tuned.
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In this series, I've likened resiliency as being like a mosaic it's a jigsaw of lots of interwoven and interconnected cogs and components that all fit together to make you stronger.
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Let's face it, life works much better when you have resilience, fortitude, grit, call it whatever you want.
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Think of it like a muscle, one that lets you flex, bend and then bounce forward, no matter what life and or work throws at you.
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It's for when you have those pear shaped moments in your life.
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It gives you the gritty grace under pressure, and it's your inner strength that keeps you steady and others steady at the same time when the going gets rough.
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So what have I discovered over the last three to four months, six months even, through the research that I've done on resilience?
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And out of all of these discoveries, what would be the most meaningful and impactful one?
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Also, if you ask me, out of everything that I've learned so far on resilience, what would I recommend that you do to strengthen your resilience?
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In a nutshell, not across 12 series, but today, out of all of them, what would I say that you do?
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Stay tuned, because I'm going to answer both of those, all of those questions and a few more in this, the wrap-up series, in this current series on Resilience.
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Remember resilience it can be both learned and strengthened, and used whenever you need it.
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The vet staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment.
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Connect in veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online.
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Vetclinicjobscom is your go-to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and Helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game.
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Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them, vetclinicjobscom.
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Let's face it, sometimes our lives are like sailing on calm seas.
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There's a nice bit of wind, just enough to fill the sails, but not enough, where you have to sit on the side of the boat with your legs dangling over the edge and you can see the keel in the water below.
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I Intensely dislike sailing in water where the boat is on a 45 degree heel.
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That gives me the heebie-jeebies.
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But sometimes our lives are a bit like that, aren't they?
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Over the last six months or so, my life, maybe like yours, has had a few storms in it.
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I talked about one of those that lasted for three weeks or so over the Christmas New Year period.
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That was pretty intense.
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I talked about that last week, comminating back in October last year.
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There was another pretty stressful moment.
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It only lasted a couple of weeks.
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The the actual head part of it, only lasted a couple of weeks.
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I had to dig deep, though for well, through that time, but also in the six months or so leading into it.
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It's been a few years since I've experienced passive, aggressive behavior or any Intimidation tactics, but I was on the receiving end of both of those.
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Last year they were being dished out by a master manipulator, somebody who had a black belt in that, and life was pretty horrible for a while.
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It was pretty stressful.
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The short story is that I decided I wasn't going to be intimidated anymore, so I opted to pursue a legal course of action.
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I had to dig deep during that period because the other party just kept upping the ante.
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I decided to put my big girl, nick is, on, for two reasons.
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One is because vet staff is bigger than just me.
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We're a team that relies on each other and each of us doing the right thing, so that we can not only live our best lives and make a difference, but ensure that we all get fed as well.
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I needed to step up.
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I needed to put my big girl, nick is, on and do some of that ecchi leadership stuff, stuff in air quotes, like having difficult conversations, like being brave and courageous when all you want to do is stay under the covers each morning, not get up and not wake up until it's all over.
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And I needed to be a leader, which in this case meant taking legal action to stop what was going on.
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And it was like eek.
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Back in Episode Number 120, I'll put links in the show notes to this page at vetstaffpodcastcom for you to go and look up if you want.
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So back in Episode 120, I talked about passive aggressive behavior, together with recognizing the toxic tactics of gaslighting and microaggression in the workplace.
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When you're on the receiving end of any of those, it's a horrible place to be in and it really can do you head in.
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So, like I said, I'll put the links to that episode if you want to know more.
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I found myself on the receiving end for about probably six months last year, all up, and I noticed that I was starting to second-guess myself, to doubt myself, which is what the passive aggressor, the bully, they always want, that it's also what the gaslighter wants you to do as well to second-guess yourself, to wonder whether you're going a bit crazy.
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I did consider just dropping the whole thing, because it was the easiest path to go down to just give in, roll over and quietly let it all drop.
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I'm pleased I didn't, though, because justice prevailed.
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In the end, the legal outcome ruled in our favor, which was a great outcome.
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As much as I didn't like going through it, I did know at the time.
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I believed at the time that I would be stronger afterwards, but I just had to get to the other side first.
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I am now stronger, and I did get to the other side.
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I've always believed that my levels of resilience are pretty good.
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I don't think I could have experienced the pretty icky things that I have to be here smiling most days like I do.
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Resilient people usually have pretty good self-awareness to some degree.
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Now, I'm not saying that every resilient person has higher levels of emotional intelligence or even social intelligence it would be nice if they did but they do know how to get back on their feet again after they've been knocked over a few times.
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The biggest a-has for me while I was doing all of this resiliency research is just how this stuff works.
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There's no single one big thing, apart from one thing to be more resilient.
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That makes the difference.
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But cumulatively, when you put all the different pieces into place, like I've been talking about for the last three months, you do get stronger.
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You can't help.
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But so now, if I had to choose one big thing for you, what would that be?
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Well, I'm going to make two recommendations One, on the assumption that your life is going reasonably okay right now, you are in an okay space, and the other is that you know that you're in the thick or that you're on the edge of a pear-shaped event, because both require a bit of a different approach.
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First up, here's my recommendation on the assumption that your life is working reasonably okay.
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Like I said before, it means that you're not in the thick of a pear-shaped moment.
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Your life has the normal ups and downs that life has.
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You're managing.
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You may not consider, perhaps, that you're thriving and you're still working towards whatever definition thriving is for you, but you're not on your knees with exhaustion either.
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This is what I recommend that you start or you keep developing the habits of journaling An attitude of gratitude, journal Intentionally, looking to have more, or moments in your life that with the journaling comes the attitude of gratitude.
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I also recommend that you have a daily walk.
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Doesn't have to be big, just a walk.
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Get outside in the fresh air First thing in the morning, so that my next recommendation that you get early morning sunlight.
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There's research that proves that when you journal it makes a difference.
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I've talked about that before.
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Having an attitude of gratitude puts you, reframes things for you to be in a good space or a better space, and daily morning walk gives you time for yourself.
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Early morning sunlight Sunlight first thing without sunglasses, without a peaked cap those are things that I actually changed Last year.
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I used to do my early morning walks with my sonnies and a peaked hat to keep the sun out of my eyes, but then I discovered some research that proves that early morning sunlight helps with our diurnal rhythms, helps us sleep better, and I think I've actually noticed a difference as well Then with scenario two.
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So this is when you are on the edge of a pear shaped moment or you're in the thick of it.
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The first thing you have to notice.
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The big thing that you have to do is believe that this, too, will pass.
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That's critical, because that gives you hope.
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First thing up there, this too will pass.
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Then I want you to grow and strengthen and look at putting into place, having, like I said before, an attitude of gratitude.
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Then I want you to continue to remember, to breathe and to reframe so that you have and you look for more or moments in your life.
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And then the other thing that I would like you a habit that I recommend that you build or you start as a morning walk, just five or 10 minutes around the block, that's all it has to be, but make sure it's a habit Now, overarching both of these different situations and all of these different habits.
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To start and build up, I recommend that you absolutely, without a doubt, 100%, get totally, blindingly clear on knowing what you stand for, in other words, that you totally understand and know what your values are.
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Why, julie?
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Great question, because our values underwrite everything we do.
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When our lives get a bit gummed up, when our lives stop working properly, it's usually because we're out of sync somewhere with our values.
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Why?
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How?
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Because it's our values that provide and our values that give oomph to our motivation and our direction.
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When you know what really matters to you, it's easier to get after what you want, to set goals or objectives or outcomes and then to start taking the necessary action that align with those things that really matter to you, because it's this intrinsic motivation that fuels your resilience.
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Also because your values highlight what's important to you when we have those pear shaped events in our lives that feel like we're being derailed they could be major health situations of ourselves or perhaps of someone we love, major negative financial situations or setbacks it's during these kind of events that, when you get to connect with your values, it helps bring home to highlight what and who is worth you digging deep.
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For this is because it's your values.
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They usually remain rock solid and steadfast even when our circumstances are rocky and hard.
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And then it's also because our values dictate and help support and, like I said before, give us oomph to where to devote your energy.
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When you're clear on what your core values are, you hopefully don't faff around wasting times on things that really don't matter to you.
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An example I clearly remember of this for me was with my dad.
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In March, almost 20 years ago, my dad was given an aggressive lung cancer and terminal diagnosis.
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At the time I was living and working in Auckland and dad and the rest of my family were in Wellington.
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The doctors gave him four to six weeks to live.
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I spent a week in shock in Auckland.
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I faffed around finishing off projects.
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It turns out that that week ended up being 20% of the time that my dad had left on this earth A week I had spent faffing around.
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Five weeks after his diagnosis he died.
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I always thought that my dad probably maybe like you, would be around forever.
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I kind of hoped that he would fight it, even though I should have known differently, because depression had been a dark friend of his for a very long time, coupled with pessimism.
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They were both friends of my dad.
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I learned a hard lesson Get absolutely clear on your values so that when you have to make the hard decisions, those decisions become easier to make.
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It's too late now for me, because my dad's not around for me to make a different priority decision around him and for him and with him.
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But now, when I'm visiting friends and family, I don't work.
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They always get 100% of my attention at the time, even if and even when it means I'm working through and into the wee small hours to get things finished when they're not around.
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But when I'm with them, I'm with them 100% because family is one of my values.
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The other thing that values gives you is enables you coupled with what I've just talked about, it enables you to prioritize when life gets overwhelming, when you don't know where to start or what to do.
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First, knowing what your top values are gives you a framework to make decisions about how to spend limited time, energy and or what other resources you have with what you've got and what you need to do.
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So those are all about values.
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Back in episode 160, which is on self-limiting beliefs and it's one of the resiliency jigsaw pieces you'll find a workbook to help you identify your core values.
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I'll put the link with the show notes on this episode.
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If you are unclear on what your values are, then please listen to that episode so that you don't faff around wasting 20% of maybe somebody's life, of all they've got left.
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Find yourselves in quiet space, take some time to identify your values.
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It'll make a huge difference to you going forward in all sorts of different ways.
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Now, if I had just one, if I had to choose just one thing, one habit, to focus on at a time, what would it be?
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I'd be consciously and actively including gratitude in my day.
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That's what I'd say.
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For you, I'd say go and make gratitude a bigger part of your day, in looking for things, for people, for incidents, for events.
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And now we're here to smile on the inside, even if just for a moment, even if it's only because perhaps you managed to get the washing in off the line before it absolutely chucked it down, even if it's because your spouse took the kids off your hand for just a few hours or a few minutes and you managed to get some quiet time.
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Whatever it is for, you find one thing in your day when you look back, journal and be grateful for it.
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It's not about having an attitude of gratitude.
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It isn't about waiting for the big things to be grateful for.
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It's every single teeny, tiny, incy-wintsy, dinky little thing in your day that all adds up.
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If you acknowledge just one thing each day, by this time next year you'll have 365 most grateful moments to stand on.
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Now, how awesome would that be?
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I really do hope that you found this series on resiliency helpful.
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Stay tuned, because next week we'll be starting a whole new short series on work-life harmony to help you get your head screwed on straight, strengthen your resilience and get excited about going to work on Monday mornings again.
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If you like the Vet Staff podcast and you've found it helpful, can I ask you please to do me a favour?
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Can you please help me spread the Vet Staff podcast word by telling three of your friends and colleagues about how this show helps veterinary professionals get their head screwed on straight, build their resilience and get excited about going to work on Monday mornings.
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Thank you, all you have to do is send them to vetstaffpodcastcom.
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If you also enjoyed today's episode, then please hit follow button wherever you are listening right now to this episode, because it means that you'll automatically receive it next week's episode direct into your audio feed.
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It means that you won't miss out.
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I look forward to spending time with you again next week, where we'll kick off the short Work Life Harmony series.
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One of the things that we'll be looking at in this first episode is how to handle pushback gracefully yet powerfully, when you start to get some resistance to personal boundaries that you're starting to put in place.
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How to ensure that you make 2024 your year for having Work Life Harmony by setting some personal boundaries that remain in place throughout the year, throughout this year, and going forward Until then.
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This is Julie South signing off and inviting you to go out there and be the most fantabulous and resilient version of you you can be by screwing your head on straight and getting excited about going to work on Monday mornings.
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The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment, connecting veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online.
00:23:19.978 --> 00:23:31.817
Vetclinicjobscom is your go to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game.
00:23:31.817 --> 00:23:40.993
Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online so veterinary professionals can find them.
00:23:40.993 --> 00:23:51.326
Visit vetclinicjobscom.
