Transcript
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Social intelligence is the currency of thriving relationships.
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How wealthy are you?
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Have you ever wondered why some people effortlessly thrive in social situations, while others struggle to connect, or why some people are cringe worthy in social situations?
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If you're curious about how social intelligence can transform your life and your team into a connected and thriving force, then stay tuned, because social intelligence is the currency to forge meaningful relationships, excel in social situations and unlock endless opportunities in both your personal and professional life.
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Welcome to the Vet Staff podcast, your go-to guide for navigating the vet recruitment scene and boosting employer brand power.
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Discover practical strategies for both employers and employees to enhance your personal and clinic brands.
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Get ready to rock the recruitment market and create an exciting workplace where everyone loves going to work on Monday mornings.
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I'm your show host, julie South.
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Welcome to episode 145.
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Social intelligence and emotional intelligence are two related but very distinct concepts that both involve understanding and managing human interactions and emotions.
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Let's explore their differences.
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Let's start with emotional intelligence EI or EQ you may have heard it referred to as either or those and it means the ability by someone to recognize, understand and manage their own emotions and the emotions of others.
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It means you're aware of how you're feeling, as well as being able to empathize with and respond to the emotions of others in a way that's appropriate to the emotion going on.
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I've talked about EQ twice now in this podcast, back in episode 39, 12 statements low EQ people make, and episode 40, six ways to lead as an emotionally intelligent leader.
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I'll put links to those in the show notes page for you to check out.
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Both are those episodes if you're keen to know more, but let's do a quick recap just in case all of this is new to you.
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Ei, or EQ, has four main components, and it means, number one, that you are self-aware.
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You understand your own emotions, your strengths, your weaknesses and how they impact behavior and decisions.
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Number two is that you can manage your own emotions.
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You know how to regulate and control your emotions, your impulses and your reactions.
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In other words, you have very few shoe size moments.
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Shoes size moments are what I call temper tantrums or hissy fits, and that's when people act their shoe sizes and not their chronological age.
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The third thing is that you have a high degree of social awareness.
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You can empathize and recognize the emotions, the viewpoints and the perspective of others.
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And the fourth thing is that you have good relationship management skills.
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You know how to build and maintain positive relationships.
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Your communication is usually effective and you're reasonably skilled at resolving conflict when and if it arises.
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Social intelligence, on the other hand, is a much broader concept.
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It covers your ability to navigate and understand social situations, to be able to adapt to various social contexts and to be able to be effective in your day-to-day interactions with others.
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This means you're good at picking up on social cues.
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You have a good grasp of what's normal and I use that in air quotes what's normal and again in air quotes socially acceptable, if you ever have to open your mouth to change feet.
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These situations are few and far between in your life, if ever.
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You're good at knowing how to interact without opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, in one to one and in group situations.
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In other words, you're not that cringe-worthy person.
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I'm sure you can think of a person or two whom you've heard about or maybe you know.
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Social intelligence involves four key aspects.
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We've got social awareness, social adaptability, social cognition and social empathy.
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Social awareness means that you're attentive to social cues.
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For example, you're able to effectively pick up on the non-verbal communication displayed by others.
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You get what social dynamics are going on in situations and you're able to understand the thoughts, feelings and intentions of others.
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You're not a mind reader, but you have an awareness.
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You are also socially adaptable, and that's your capacity to adjust your behavior and your communication styles to fit each different social situation that you're in.
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It means that you can interact with people from diverse backgrounds.
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You're not a one-trick pony when it comes to being able to get along with others.
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Social cognition as a medico, I'm sure you don't need me to explain that.
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Cognition relates to understanding and thought processing.
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In this case, you understand what social norms, rules and expectations are within different cultures or context.
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And then, finally, we've got social empathy.
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As a veterinary professional, you already probably have very advanced empathy ratings when it comes to your patience, but social empathy relates to being able to sense and understand the emotions and the needs of humans those two-legged things.
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This is similar to the empathy component of EQ, of emotional intelligence.
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Now, so we have social awareness, adaptability, cognition and empathy for different sectors, for different sections.
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How do you know when you or someone lacks social intelligence?
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What are the signs and all the symptoms of that?
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Firstly, let's just clarify that it is a skill that anyone and everyone can always improve on from where they're at, provided, of course, that you do actually have the inclination to do that.
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Let's look at some common signs that could signal a lack of social intelligence Difficulty reading social cues.
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If someone is low on the SI, the social intelligence scale, they may struggle to interpret or perhaps not even see non-verbal cues like facial expressions, body languages, body language or tone of voice.
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They could be insensitive to others' feelings.
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Some people are so completely oblivious to the emotions and needs of others that they don't even know that they exist.
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They show little, if any, empathy or understanding of how their actions or their words impact those around them.
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They don't actually see that they could be the cause of some drama or that they could have initiated some drama or some flare up.
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They usually have poor communication skills.
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Expressing themselves clearly and or appropriately isn't usually one of their strong suits.
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And as for listening attentively to others, forget that they may dominate conversations, interrupt frequently and or totally miss any conversational cues, like someone is trying to get a word in a conversation.
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Their behaviour is inappropriate.
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They are totally ignorant or don't care what's socially acceptable and what's not, for example, someone who hasn't adapted their behaviour for the last 20, 30, 40, 50, who knows how many centuries from way back, and then wonders why no one wants to be around them.
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This can put strains on relationships, plural, and create tension in social settings.
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Sadly, they are labelled that person.
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You don't want to be, that person.
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Maybe difficulty adapting to social situations.
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We're not talking shyness here or introvertedness.
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Instead, it's more like when someone struggles to adapt their behaviour to different social contexts.
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They have no idea that adaptation is required.
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They just carry on regardless of the way they've always been.
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They have limited perspective taking Similar to being empathetic.
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Low socially intelligent people may have difficulty putting themselves in others' shoes.
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They have no idea what it's like to even consider walking a few moons in someone else's moccasins.
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Why would you even want to do that?
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It's the kind of thinking that they have, and this can make conflict resolution challenging and or maybe even impossible.
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They have poor judgement in social situations.
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They lack social intelligence and it may always put their or perhaps they put their mouths into action before they put their brains into gear.
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There's a difference between being spontaneous and being impulsive.
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Socially unintelligent people make totally insensitive remarks and or fail to recognise when it's appropriate to speak up and or shut up or to remain silent in certain social settings, so they've got poor judgement.
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They also have difficulty in building and maintaining relationships, as you're probably starting to get the idea now, because they struggle in social situations.
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Socially unintelligent people may find it hard or even impossible to form meaningful connections with others and or to sustain friendships and professional relationships.
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They may lack awareness of personal impact.
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Someone with low social intelligence will be totally unaware of how their words or their actions affect others.
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This, in turn, leads to unintentional, negative fallout in their relationships.
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And then, finally, we have a limited social network.
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Because of all these things that I've just mentioned, they probably have a very small social circle, and or they struggle to connect with others.
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This means, sadly, that they can feel isolated, they can feel alone and they can feel lonely.
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None of these things are good for the human soul or the spirit.
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It's really important to realise, though, that social intelligence isn't a fixed trait.
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It is possible for people to work on improving their social skills if they want.
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How do you do that?
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Well, it can be done through self-awareness, practice and learning from social experiences.
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Additionally, it's also critical to understand that for some individuals, there may be a neurodivergent reason with conditions, for example, like autism spectrum disorder, which require a whole different approach to understanding and supporting their social interactions.
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For those of us who aren't neurodiverse, I believe it's up to us to support those who are to have levels of social intelligence that help neurodiverse people function as intelligent, caring and contributing human beings in our world, because that's what they want and they are capable of doing that with our support.
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So, knowing all of this, what can you do to enhance your social intelligence?
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The first step and it'll help your emotional intelligence as well is to develop, enhance and grow your own personal awareness.
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Having personal awareness means that you know where your buttons are.
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Those are the ones that sometimes your significant other, your children, your parents, perhaps siblings, maybe even some colleagues at work press and you just explode.
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So social, having personal awareness means knowing where those buttons are, what activates them and who has a direct line.
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Two, activation it means that you know what your triggers are.
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It means that you know how to be around most people without offending the majority.
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It means that your friends and family enjoy having you turn up to family events.
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It means that your clinic can rest assured you're not going to bring them into disrepute if they send you to a conference or another social event, because you'll get everyone's backs up while you're there.
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While I was researching today's show, I came across a globally available social style program can be done online and on demand, and it's designed to help people become socially intelligent.
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As always, I'll put the links there where you're listening to this.
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According to this program, there are four types of social styles driving, expressive, amiable and analytical.
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Each has its own psychological needs, growth actions and orientations.
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For example, the driving style is usually controlling, decisive and fast paced.
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They're seen by others as direct, active, forceful and determined.
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They initiate social interaction and focus their efforts on the efforts of others, on the goals and objectives they want to accomplish.
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Their need is to get results.
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Their orientation, how they get results, is all about action and their growth action.
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So this is what they need to do to improve their social intelligence.
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Their growth action is to listen.
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The expressive style is usually enthusiastic and emotional.
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These people tend to be more willing to make their feelings known to others.
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They appear to react impulsively.
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They openly show both positive and negative feelings.
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They're typically described by others as personable, talkative and sometimes opinionated.
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Their need is for personal approval.
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Their orientation as they act with spontaneity and their growth action.
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What they could do better or improve is they need to stop and to check.
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The amiable style is friendly, supportive and relationship driven.
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People with an amiable style openly display their feelings to others.
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They're generally less demanding and more agreeable than others.
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Their interest is in achieving rapport with others, who often describe them as informal, casual and easy going.
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Their need is for personal security.
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Their orientation is all about relationship and their growth action is to initiate.
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So they need to initiate more to get a better balance.
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Then we have, finally, the analytical style.
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These are thoughtful, reserved and slow paced.
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These people are generally described by others as being quiet, logical and sometimes reserved or cautious.
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They tend to appear distant from others and may not communicate unless there's a specific need to do so.
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Their need is to be right.
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Their orientation is all about thinking and their growth action is to declare.
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Did you relate to any of those social styles?
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Any one of those social styles more than others?
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For me, I like to think I'm reasonably socially intelligent, but from those styles, though, I think I'm driving.
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I'm into action and results, and although I listen, I would be better served perhaps more than likely, probably if I let other people say their piece, rather than get excited all the time and do most of the talking, which is what I tend to do, actually, sometimes a lot.
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So I think that, therefore, I need, I need to slow down, I need to do put my hands on my sit on my hands, because I'm such an expressive person with my hands that I know when I sit on my hands, I actually am more silent, which means that other people can talk, because I'm not.
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I think I work with two expressives and one amiable, which will be interesting to see if they agree with that as well, righty.
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So, knowing all of this, what difference can it make to your professional life If you recognize any of these five symptoms which I'm going to come up to now in yourself or maybe a colleague or a significant other?
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It's time for some social intelligence training.
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Do people often groan when you say something?
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Do they make excuses for you in social situations, something like I ignore him or her, that's just Chris being Chris.
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Are you that person?
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Or are your relationships often strained?
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Do you find yourself struggling to build meaningful and enduring relationships?
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Perhaps you feel isolated and or alone and or lonely, even when you're in a crowded room.
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Is that how you feel?
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Perhaps, if you're the head vet or the head nurse, do you find yourself struggling?
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Do you have difficulty in motivating or collaborating with others?
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Or maybe, what about when someone gives you feedback and it's not what you want to hear?
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Do you want to punch the messenger?
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Do you find yourself getting defensive?
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Do you think it's time you resigned, because no one here appreciates you anyway?
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Of course, many of these could be signs of something other than someone lacking social intelligence.
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But, but, but if you could relate to them, maybe, then, just maybe, getting some social intelligence training could be just the ticket for your professional development.
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It certainly won't do you any harm.
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Now, do you already have perhaps some kind of formal emotional intelligence or social intelligence program going on at your clinic?
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If so, you can stretch the benefits of that program further by including it as part of your recruitment marketing strategy.
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How, julie, thank you so much for asking.
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Here's how.
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Well, if Vetstaff is managing your recruitment marketing campaign, we've already taken care of that for you, so you don't need to worry.
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But if you're DIYing your own recruitment, then you need to start shouting about what social and or emotional intelligence programs that you've got going on in your clinic from the rooftops, and one way that you can do that is really easy at vetclinicjobscom.
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Vet Clinic Jobs is Vetstaff's cousin.
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It's where good Vet Clinic employers can shine online and be found by job seekers looking to make their next career move who are looking for good employers.
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They're looking for employers who invest in their teams.
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It's free to register your clinic at Vet Clinic Jobs and it's free to list jobs that you've got going there as well.
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For those clinics that do have social and or emotional intelligence programs in place, you can tick the professional development box, which means that job seekers can especially find your clinic ahead of other clinics that don't have any professional development happening.
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So go check it out at vetclinicjobscom and if your clinic is listed there already, then review them and if they deserve to have a five-star review, give them a five-star review and shout them out from the rooftops.
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I hope you found all of this helpful.
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If you've got any questions around social or emotional intelligence, either Tanya and I are, or will be very happy, are happy to answer your questions.
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The easiest place to find either of us is at LinkedIn, and I'll put our profile links with this episode's notes for you as well.
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Thank you for tuning in to the Vetstaff podcast, where we've talked about the importance of providing training, social intelligence training and how to incorporate it into your clinic's recruitment marketing campaigns.
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The Vetstaff podcast is dedicated to those clinics that prioritize their people and the professionals who aspire to work for them.
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I invite you to join us on this journey of empowerment and discover a world where veterinary clinics thrive by putting their people first.
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If you're working for a clinic who deserves you believe deserves to shine online, then I invite you to visit vetclinicjobscom and give your clinic a five-star review to make future or current recruitment easier.
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All you have to do is make sure your clinic has a business listing.
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That's free to do so.
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Talk to your practice manager about that.
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Once your clinic has a profile at Vet Clinic Jobs, you can give it a five-star review and encourage your colleagues to review it as well.
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If you're recruiting right now, then please visit vetclinicjobscom and list your job vacancy for free.
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This is a global website, so wherever you are listening from, wherever your clinic is located, you can review and or list your clinic's vacancies for free at vetclinicjobscom.
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Thank you for spending the last half an hour or so of your life with me.
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I do appreciate your time today.
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This is Julie South signing off and inviting you to go out there and be the most fantabulous version of you you can be.
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God bless.
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The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment, connecting veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online.
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Vetclinicjobscom is your go-to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game.
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Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them.
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Visit vetclinicjobscom.
