Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:05.187 --> 00:00:20.672
You're listening to the Vet Staff podcast, the place where you, the veterinary professional, can go to get your head screwed on straight, so you can get excited about going to work on Monday mornings and be the most fantabulous version of you you can be.
00:00:20.672 --> 00:00:26.050
I'm your show host, julie South, and this is Episode 174.
00:00:26.050 --> 00:00:42.213
Welcome to the fourth and the final episode, 100% dedicated to helping veterinary professionals take proactive steps towards attaining the work life harmony that you want.
00:00:42.213 --> 00:00:49.173
Today, we're going to look at a concept known as work life separation.
00:00:49.173 --> 00:00:56.725
We're going to look at it as a way of helping you create your own sustainable work life harmony arrangement.
00:00:56.725 --> 00:01:05.903
This episode is about helping you put a line in the sand to separate the clinic from home and vice versa.
00:01:05.903 --> 00:01:11.572
We're going to look at the difference between a ritual and a habit.
00:01:11.572 --> 00:01:15.811
If you're a people pleaser, then this episode is for you.
00:01:15.811 --> 00:01:30.912
If you're feeling a bit frazzled around the edges, this episode is for you as well, and if you're contemplating quitting the veterinary sector altogether, then this is also for you.
00:01:30.912 --> 00:01:56.938
I've received quite a lot of thanks from vets and nurses, so thank you if you were one of those who listened to last week's episode and said that it was perfect for where they're at in their lives and how to get their life from where it is to where they want to be.
00:01:56.938 --> 00:02:12.729
If you're not sure what I'm talking about, it was around strategic renewal the different aspects of your life that you can change, to move the needle so that you're living the work and the life life that you want.
00:02:12.729 --> 00:02:19.331
Visit vetstaffpodcastcom and listen, if you haven't already.
00:02:19.331 --> 00:02:39.104
Today we're going to be looking at different ways that you can mentally and emotionally draw the line in the sand that divides your professional life from your personal life and your personal life from your professional life, so that you can give 100% to each at the right time.
00:02:39.879 --> 00:02:40.883
Now let's get clear.
00:02:40.883 --> 00:02:50.383
I understand, especially if you're a working parent or caregiver, that sometimes there are family emergencies that blur that line.
00:02:50.383 --> 00:02:59.388
From time to time you get a call from school and you need to pick up your little one because they've just fallen and got an X size lump on their head.
00:02:59.388 --> 00:03:06.388
Or an elderly parent that you care for has had a fall and you get a call about that.
00:03:06.388 --> 00:03:11.128
Those are, hopefully, rare events.
00:03:11.128 --> 00:03:29.054
Those are the times when life gets in the way, type of events that you need to deal with, just like you need to deal with a hit by car or a possible X lap because a puppy took a shine to a pin cushion and now there's a pin in its tummy.
00:03:29.054 --> 00:03:33.968
Or one of your farmers calls up because he's got a cow or two down.
00:03:33.968 --> 00:03:38.969
These aren't your regular everyday events, unless you're working in an emergency.
00:03:38.969 --> 00:03:42.709
When these happen, you need to deal with them because you need to.
00:03:42.709 --> 00:03:44.645
Lives are at stake.
00:03:45.240 --> 00:04:03.451
What we're looking at today is for you to consistently being able to draw a line in the sand so that your life works better, because you're not constantly switched on in work mode and those who love you and whom you love get to share the best of you.
00:04:03.451 --> 00:04:18.028
In the first episode of this series, we talked about how you have those conversations around leaving work on time, those challenging conversations and other conversations that you might need to have to get some kind of balance happening.
00:04:18.028 --> 00:04:25.944
So check out episode 171 for that, because in it there was a framework on how to structure the conversation.
00:04:25.944 --> 00:04:30.230
Obviously, one of the things that you need to do is set boundaries.
00:04:30.230 --> 00:04:35.029
If you don't do that, none of this is going to make a deadly squad of difference.
00:04:35.029 --> 00:04:38.226
When you're at work, you work.
00:04:38.226 --> 00:04:44.572
When you're at home, you're in chill out mode so you can play with those you enjoy playing with.
00:04:44.572 --> 00:04:59.009
Playing, obviously, here is a general term for stuff other than work being with friends, reading but not scientific journals plays, relaxing, being with family and other loved ones.
00:04:59.009 --> 00:05:01.447
That's whatever playing is for you.
00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:18.869
Before we get to rituals versus habits, though, I just want to do a superfast overview of the different things that you need to have on each side of that home, work life and the sand line that we've just talked about, for example, separating out work and life.
00:05:18.869 --> 00:05:23.470
If you don't do it for yourself, no one else will do it for you.
00:05:23.470 --> 00:05:35.790
Set boundaries around work hours and communication, and please turn your damn phone, your work phone, off when you're at home unless you're on call.
00:05:35.790 --> 00:05:41.891
Compartmentalize work when you're at home if you need to and you're not on call.
00:05:41.891 --> 00:05:52.668
Set up your phone so that at certain hours, certain phone numbers, ie work related ones, get automatically diverted to your voicemail.
00:05:52.668 --> 00:05:59.733
When you do this, it means that you can be fully present at work and at home.
00:05:59.733 --> 00:06:02.788
I've talked about mindfulness on other episodes.
00:06:02.788 --> 00:06:13.144
Check them out if you need to at vetstuffpodcastcom and see whether any of those make a difference for you if you put them into practice.
00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:22.348
Before we get to the difference between a habit and a ritual.
00:06:22.348 --> 00:06:31.884
Let's first have a look at whether you might be so out of whack with your work home life that it has nothing to do with where you work.
00:06:31.884 --> 00:06:42.411
What if there's an underlying reason you're so busy that has nothing to do with your boss or the excessive workload you might have?
00:06:42.411 --> 00:06:49.208
I'm gonna press some buttons here with some people or maybe create some wake-up calls.
00:06:49.208 --> 00:06:58.555
As I'm sure you know, habits can be positive or destructive, but what if you have something destructive going on in your life instead?
00:06:58.555 --> 00:07:07.678
Here are some questions I want you to think about as to whether you have a good habit or a destructive one in place.
00:07:07.678 --> 00:07:14.374
Regarding that line in the sand that we're looking at today, I'm gonna throw out some questions for you to think about Now.
00:07:14.374 --> 00:07:23.682
They might not apply to you, but maybe they apply to your bestie or maybe your significant other, so keep an open mind.
00:07:23.682 --> 00:07:31.319
Okay, some of these questions will be confrontational, for sure, but it's not like I'm asking you to email me the answer.
00:07:31.319 --> 00:07:49.639
I just want you to consider each question and whether it could be true for you, because life is too short to be doing stuff that you don't like or to be in a relationship that you don't like, or to be in a job that you love working, but for a boss who doesn't respect you?
00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:56.076
Here's the first question Do you use work as an excuse to get out of things?
00:07:56.925 --> 00:08:01.057
Are you in a relationship that's not good for you so you stay at work longer?
00:08:01.057 --> 00:08:05.673
Or you bring work home so that you don't have to be in a relationship?
00:08:05.673 --> 00:08:09.346
Why do you stay Now?
00:08:09.346 --> 00:08:15.399
If you tell yourself it's for your kids, then ask yourself whether it is really.
00:08:15.399 --> 00:08:23.473
Are you showing them what self-respects look like If you don't respect yourself enough to leave?
00:08:23.473 --> 00:08:25.939
What lessons are you teaching them?
00:08:25.939 --> 00:08:29.213
Or are you teaching them to be a martyr?
00:08:30.826 --> 00:08:41.634
Are you so constantly busy at work because it serves the unconscious need that you have to feel needed, because you don't feel needed in your personal life?
00:08:41.634 --> 00:08:49.304
Maybe you're in a sucky relationship, maybe you're an empty nester and you feel like no one needs you anymore.
00:08:49.304 --> 00:08:57.216
So you use work as a justification of being busy, but really you just want to be needed.
00:08:57.216 --> 00:09:01.437
Do you have a private, a personal life?
00:09:01.437 --> 00:09:14.325
Is your life so out of whack that you don't have any hobbies or out of work interests and therefore you don't know what to do if and when you're not working.
00:09:14.325 --> 00:09:21.760
Have you got, maybe, a truckload of leave stacked up Because you don't want to take your leave, because you don't know what to do?
00:09:21.760 --> 00:09:32.325
If, say, you own the lottery and you no longer have to go to work, to put food on your table or keep a roof over your head, what would you do?
00:09:32.325 --> 00:09:41.120
Do you have hobbies, sports, crafts, people you prefer to spend your life with instead?
00:09:42.432 --> 00:09:44.325
Why haven't you changed things with your clinic?
00:09:44.325 --> 00:09:54.676
If you're constantly taking work home with you and or you're always leaving late, why haven't you done something about this already?
00:09:54.676 --> 00:09:56.910
What are you scared of?
00:09:56.910 --> 00:09:59.232
Are you scared of losing your job?
00:09:59.232 --> 00:10:06.852
Are you scared of being overlooked for the lead vet, the head nurse or maybe even the practice manager position?
00:10:06.852 --> 00:10:10.325
Are you worried about what other people think?
00:10:10.325 --> 00:10:15.437
Because your clinic has the culture of everyone working late?
00:10:15.437 --> 00:10:19.325
Is there a Wall Street mentality going on at your clinic?
00:10:19.325 --> 00:10:23.325
No one wants to be the first to leave, so everyone's screwed up.
00:10:23.325 --> 00:10:26.410
I've worked in cultures like that.
00:10:26.410 --> 00:10:31.158
They're unhealthy mentally, physically and emotionally.
00:10:31.158 --> 00:10:32.120
They're unhealthy.
00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:33.610
How about?
00:10:33.672 --> 00:10:42.325
You're not exactly happy with how you feel about yourself, so you stay at work because it means you don't have to attend social situations.
00:10:42.325 --> 00:10:45.325
Maybe you don't like where you're at physically.
00:10:45.325 --> 00:10:52.191
You keep promising yourself you'll lose weight, you'll stop smoking, you'll stop drinking, you'll stop the recreational drug use.
00:10:52.191 --> 00:10:56.759
Could that be why you don't have any work-life balance?
00:10:56.759 --> 00:11:17.796
If you wanted to go home at knockoff time, you could, but then you'd find yourself courting temptation Maybe food, alcohol, drugs or whatever but you feel so bad about yourself, you beat up on yourself so much that you actually don't feel good about yourself and you don't want to be with other people.
00:11:18.905 --> 00:11:33.778
Do you obsessively check emails all evening and weekend under the guise of needing to catch up, when what you're really doing is craving the stimulation and the sense of productivity that your personal time lacks?
00:11:33.778 --> 00:11:36.900
Are you in a relationship with a workaholic?
00:11:36.900 --> 00:11:42.216
So, because they have no personal life, you've told yourself that you can't have one either.
00:11:42.216 --> 00:11:47.317
It's easier for you to tell yourself you're busy when you're not really at all.
00:11:47.317 --> 00:11:50.653
You're just in a lonely relationship.
00:11:50.653 --> 00:11:53.830
What about parental expectations?
00:11:53.830 --> 00:11:57.177
Are you trying to live up to the expectations of your parents?
00:11:57.177 --> 00:12:06.352
Maybe you're the child of a veterinary specialist or other high-flying professional who worked crazy hours and that's all you know.
00:12:06.352 --> 00:12:12.976
The role model you grew up with was so out of whack that you don't know any different.
00:12:14.246 --> 00:12:27.634
Now I've asked these questions, these confrontational questions, because we live in a societal culture where busy is seen as something to be admired, to be something to achieve.
00:12:27.634 --> 00:12:37.707
Think about it you bump into someone you haven't seen for a while and you ask each other how you've been, how things have been, and what's the answer?
00:12:37.707 --> 00:12:38.870
It's usually busy.
00:12:38.870 --> 00:12:41.256
I've been busy, life is busy, work is busy.
00:12:41.256 --> 00:12:50.480
So that is why I asked those questions, because not everyone who's busy really is busy.
00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:58.038
It's just this crazy warped ideal state that we think we have to be in because it's expected of us.
00:12:58.038 --> 00:13:16.274
Now let's look at drawing a line in the sand so that you can get some work-life harmony into your life, because none of the questions I've just asked relate to you, and you want to be home and you want to be 100% present.
00:13:16.274 --> 00:13:20.123
What are the differences between rituals and habits?
00:13:20.123 --> 00:13:30.616
Let's look at the difference between rituals and habits and how you can create each to live more of the life that you want at work and at home.
00:13:31.605 --> 00:13:36.517
The difference between a habit and a ritual Firstly, it's around its purpose.
00:13:36.517 --> 00:13:42.636
Habits are automatic behaviors that are repeated, largely unconsciously, over time.
00:13:42.636 --> 00:13:46.274
A ritual, on the other hand, is more intentional.
00:13:46.274 --> 00:13:51.475
It's a practice that is usually filled with specific meaning or symbolism.
00:13:51.475 --> 00:13:56.034
Mindfulness associated with each is different as well.
00:13:56.034 --> 00:14:11.557
Habits are done with low awareness, sometimes without even thinking we're on automatic pilot, whereas rituals tend to be more thoughtful, more mindful behaviors, focused on their purpose and their effects.
00:14:11.557 --> 00:14:13.580
And then there's a frequency.
00:14:14.025 --> 00:14:23.096
While habits develop through frequent repetition, rituals usually happen periodically and around meaningful events or transitions.
00:14:23.096 --> 00:14:27.195
For example, you and your kids have a bedtime ritual.
00:14:27.195 --> 00:14:35.412
It helps them move from being active to being sleepy, to sleep time, and then the structure is different.
00:14:35.412 --> 00:14:38.605
Habits tend to be simple behaviors, like brushing our teeth.
00:14:38.605 --> 00:14:40.543
It happens morning and night.
00:14:40.543 --> 00:14:48.337
We don't even think about doing it, it's just a habit, whereas rituals often involve multiple symbolic steps.
00:14:48.337 --> 00:14:50.595
For example, let's take your kids again.
00:14:50.595 --> 00:14:54.994
They have a wash, they brush their teeth, they put their pajamas on.
00:14:54.994 --> 00:15:08.351
Maybe there's a bedtime story, there's more of a sense of ceremony, if you like, and there could also be meaning involved, but they perform each step for a purpose, for a reason it's to put them to bed.
00:15:09.288 --> 00:15:12.605
Their flexibility between habits and rituals is different as well.
00:15:12.605 --> 00:15:25.605
Habits usually happen automatically, regardless of the circumstances, whereas rituals adapt to different situations while still being able to preserve their original purpose or their original intent.
00:15:25.605 --> 00:15:27.605
For example, your kids bedtime story.
00:15:27.605 --> 00:15:39.605
Maybe they're at your parents place instead, or you're on holiday, so parts of the ritual may change, but the intent is still the same, even though it might be different.
00:15:39.605 --> 00:15:46.605
Maybe at home they have a bath, but there's no bath where you are right then, so then you have a shower or a wash instead.
00:15:46.605 --> 00:15:53.595
Maybe the bedtime story is a bit longer because it's a bigger treat, because they're with grandparent or because you're on holiday.
00:15:53.595 --> 00:16:02.317
The ritual is the same, but different Habits are usually rigid, while rituals have a flexible component to them.
00:16:02.317 --> 00:16:16.234
So, as you can see, the main distinction is that habits are unconscious, repeated behaviors, while rituals are more deliberate, episodic practices that mark transitions or events or states of mind.
00:16:16.234 --> 00:16:22.605
Rituals have special significances as part of their being that habits don't usually have.
00:16:22.605 --> 00:16:38.337
Now that we know this, let's look at the rituals and the habits that you can put in place to support you living your best life through having more work related harmony than you have right now.
00:16:43.226 --> 00:16:59.451
Let's look at work rituals Leave work at work rituals Some ideas for you to think about that may prompt and create more ideas for you that will be applicable for you.
00:16:59.451 --> 00:17:01.091
So these are just suggestions.
00:17:01.091 --> 00:17:13.194
So these are leave work at work rituals, physically gather items needed to take home and organize paperwork and tasks for the next day.
00:17:13.194 --> 00:17:25.791
So if you brought your lunch to work, go get wherever it is in the fridge or wherever you left it in the dishwasher and make it a ritual to do that every time you leave, so that you're gathering physical items.
00:17:25.791 --> 00:17:35.535
Do a quick tidy up and a reset of the clinic space where you've been working your desk, whatever before you leave.
00:17:35.535 --> 00:17:48.816
Pack up and put away any mobile devices work related mobile devices for you to avoid temptation to check in after hours.
00:17:48.816 --> 00:18:01.585
Have a transitional commute ritual Perhaps play specific music or make a personal phone call or a text that lets other people know that you're on your way home.
00:18:01.585 --> 00:18:09.414
Change your clothes when you get home and then you've got a physical transition queue.
00:18:10.886 --> 00:18:13.605
Let's look at evaluating over work habits.
00:18:13.605 --> 00:18:38.446
So what you can do is track the hours that you've worked for a couple of weeks and categorize those tasks which are truly urgent versus self-imposed expectations, expectations like I mentioned before, maybe you don't know anything other than to work all the hours under the sun.
00:18:38.446 --> 00:18:52.708
So urgent versus self-imposed expectations and then assess if you're overworking to avoid unpleasant tasks or due to poor time management.
00:18:52.708 --> 00:19:03.469
So the unpleasant tasks may be, like I said before, that you're in this sucky relationship that you haven't got out of, so you use work as an excuse so you don't have to go home.
00:19:03.469 --> 00:19:19.145
Get, if you need to get, external perspectives from colleagues or friends your besties perhaps, but more likely colleagues on workloads and norms or what is normal for what you're doing, for your role.
00:19:19.145 --> 00:19:41.553
Check also if overworking tasks that you've identified could be delegated or restructured so that they're less imposing and less taxing on you, and then consider if technology that you have enables an always-on habit that actually fuels your overworking.
00:19:41.553 --> 00:19:57.307
Now let's start with some habits that help you stay one side of your metaphorical line in the sand to support you achieving the work life harmony that you want.
00:19:58.589 --> 00:20:15.619
Automatic call divert Set up a rule on your mobile phone that all work-related numbers automatically go through to voicemail from your knockoff time to your start time the next day, and this includes weekends.
00:20:15.619 --> 00:20:22.963
Most smartphones have the capability now, if they don't get an app that allows this to happen.
00:20:22.963 --> 00:20:30.490
If your clinic doesn't have designated on-call mobiles for vets and nurses, then look into this.
00:20:30.490 --> 00:20:37.134
It's not that expensive to have another device with another call plan attached to it.
00:20:37.134 --> 00:20:38.440
So look at that.
00:20:38.440 --> 00:20:44.202
If that's not how it is right now, what this does is it protects your personal number for personal things.
00:20:44.202 --> 00:21:07.307
By the way, if you're wondering, it is possible to set up these do not disturbs so that in the event that there is an emergency and all hands on deck are required, if that number you set it up, if that number calls twice or three times in quick succession, then your phone will ring so it overrides any previous call diverts.
00:21:07.307 --> 00:21:09.633
So you can't use the.
00:21:09.633 --> 00:21:14.192
It might be an emergency excuse to stay connected when you don't need to.
00:21:15.056 --> 00:21:24.028
Another thing that you can do is have no tech at the dinner or the breakfast or the lunch table, even if you end up dining alone.
00:21:24.028 --> 00:21:25.672
No tech.
00:21:25.672 --> 00:21:32.468
That way you won't be tempted to check work emails or work chat groups.
00:21:32.468 --> 00:21:35.134
This applies to everyone, teenagers as well.
00:21:35.134 --> 00:21:39.431
No exceptions, not even phones turned faced down.
00:21:39.431 --> 00:21:41.656
No tech at the table.
00:21:41.656 --> 00:21:46.872
Work chat groups WhatsApp, facebook Messenger, slack, whatever you have.
00:21:46.872 --> 00:21:57.968
Set them up to automatically go silent between set hours so you'll be less tempted to have a quick chat in case it's urgent.
00:21:59.291 --> 00:22:02.721
Uniform or scrubs change out as soon as you get home.
00:22:02.721 --> 00:22:12.311
Change into your civvies immediately, always, and as you're changing out of today's uniform, get tomorrow's ready at the same time.
00:22:12.311 --> 00:22:24.311
That way, you don't need to hold and reserve any mental bandwidth for the rest of your time at home because you've got tomorrow ready, it's done, it's ticked off.
00:22:24.311 --> 00:22:26.356
You don't need to think about it again.
00:22:26.356 --> 00:22:32.785
Now let's talk about work laptop, preferably any work laptop you may have.
00:22:32.785 --> 00:22:35.013
Stays at work, stays at the clinic.
00:22:35.013 --> 00:22:49.530
But if you do have to bring the work laptop home, have a separate bag for it so that you won't be tempted to check work emails while you're checking, say, your Pinterest boards or you're watching YouTube videos on your personal laptop.
00:22:49.530 --> 00:22:54.808
Keep them both completely separate so that never the twain shall meet.
00:22:55.830 --> 00:22:58.476
Besties at work have to wait.
00:22:58.476 --> 00:23:08.516
If you work with one of your besties, make it a policy that you won't discuss any work stuff within an hour or two of you each getting home.
00:23:08.516 --> 00:23:16.394
This way, you'll keep the first couple of hours at home sacrosanct for you and your family.
00:23:16.394 --> 00:23:17.136
Only.
00:23:17.136 --> 00:23:19.951
It's family time, it's not work time.
00:23:19.951 --> 00:23:32.557
If you flat with your bestie and you work with them, then likewise set up a rule that the times that you're both home, the first couple of hours is for home time, it's not work time.
00:23:32.557 --> 00:23:40.006
Now let's have a look at life partners and business partners, husbands and wives, significant others working together.
00:23:40.006 --> 00:23:48.515
Make it a rule that you don't discuss clinic stuff at the dining table or while the kids are still up.
00:23:48.515 --> 00:23:52.406
You want your kids growing up knowing they came first in your life.
00:23:52.406 --> 00:23:59.791
Therefore, give them 100% attention when they're around you and take your breaks.
00:24:00.334 --> 00:24:03.281
Make it a daily habit to take your breaks.
00:24:03.281 --> 00:24:11.674
Either sit down with your drink and focus on your drink think of anything but the last case that you just saw or the one that you've got coming up.
00:24:11.674 --> 00:24:30.037
Instead, take just five minutes and enjoy your drink, or your biscuit or your sandwich, whatever it is, or your muffin If everyone still wants a piece of you then go for a walk around the car park or the block or down to the corner and back.
00:24:30.037 --> 00:24:35.877
Make it a habit to find some you time during the day when you're at work.
00:24:35.877 --> 00:24:41.936
You're legally entitled, in New Zealand at least, to that time, so use it.
00:24:41.936 --> 00:24:51.688
And if you're the boss and you want healthier staff, then set the standard and the expectations that everyone takes their breaks.
00:24:51.688 --> 00:24:57.406
Lead by example, because if you don't, it's less likely that they will Work.
00:24:57.607 --> 00:24:59.172
Emails on personal devices.
00:24:59.172 --> 00:25:03.578
If your personal device doubles up for work as well.
00:25:03.578 --> 00:25:07.776
Set up as many automated rules as possible.
00:25:07.776 --> 00:25:14.550
I've talked just before about diverting specific phone numbers to voicemail during predetermined time periods.
00:25:14.550 --> 00:25:16.516
Set up rules with emails.
00:25:16.516 --> 00:25:30.218
If you didn't realise that such a thing existed and you're using Windows and Outlook on a laptop, right-click on any email in your inbox and there will be an option there entitled Rules.
00:25:30.218 --> 00:25:31.988
Follow the prompts.
00:25:31.988 --> 00:25:34.935
From there, you can set up all sorts of rules.
00:25:34.935 --> 00:25:47.817
You'll be surprised, and it means that you won't get interrupted with work emails coming in while you're at home, because you'll send them to a specific folder that you won't look at while you're at home.
00:25:47.817 --> 00:25:51.954
G Suite will have something similar, as will iOS.
00:25:51.954 --> 00:25:56.935
With Windows Outlook, you can automatically categorise emails.
00:25:56.935 --> 00:25:59.374
Again, right-click ta-da.
00:25:59.374 --> 00:26:02.025
Categories are different colours.
00:26:02.025 --> 00:26:10.778
With rules and categories activated, it means that you can make it easy for you to separate work from home on one device.
00:26:12.065 --> 00:26:13.667
Now let's look at rituals.
00:26:13.667 --> 00:26:24.090
I've had a couple of jobs where my commute has been 90 minutes one way to and from work, once when I lived in London and the other time in Wellington.
00:26:24.090 --> 00:26:32.576
Yes, I get that it's a significant portion of time three hours a day to spend commuting, but I made it work to my advantage.
00:26:32.576 --> 00:26:38.036
I spent that time, transitioning from work to home and from home to work.
00:26:38.036 --> 00:26:50.515
This meant that when I was at home, I was 100% present because I knew I didn't have to switch off or on work, because that had happened already on my commute.
00:26:50.515 --> 00:27:02.619
So I used that time, that commute time, to let go of everything when I was going home and then to wind myself into work mode when I was going to work.
00:27:02.619 --> 00:27:07.997
For me, I find that I need about half an hour's commute for that to really work now.
00:27:08.707 --> 00:27:11.114
Now shutting down rituals.
00:27:11.114 --> 00:27:20.718
Just like some computer programmes need to go through a shutdown process before you can fully switch them off, create one for you at the end of the day.
00:27:20.718 --> 00:27:28.045
Start a deliberate ritual so that your brain knows it's starting to shut down from work.
00:27:28.045 --> 00:27:32.696
It's a process that you go through If you have a locker at work.
00:27:32.696 --> 00:27:36.025
Maybe it's the way you put things into and out of that.
00:27:36.025 --> 00:27:44.472
Maybe it's making sure that your mug is in the dishwasher before you leave, how you sign off from your PMS.
00:27:44.472 --> 00:27:52.045
Start your own ritual for leaving work rather than just rushing out the door because you can't get away fast enough.
00:27:52.045 --> 00:28:00.378
When you rush out the door, you'll have the last case you saw follow you out and that's not the object of the game.
00:28:00.378 --> 00:28:14.115
On your commute, if you're one of those people who always worries about your cases, then on your way home, instead recap your day, run a video in your mind's eye, a replay of what you did and saw.
00:28:14.115 --> 00:28:18.471
By the time you get home, you've already done that.
00:28:18.471 --> 00:28:22.479
You can file everything away because there's nothing you can do about it.
00:28:22.479 --> 00:28:35.780
Now You're creating a replay wind down ritual, and that means that you can then devote 100% of your focus to being at home with those special people in your life that you want to be with.
00:28:36.465 --> 00:28:44.638
Think of rituals that you can start to help you cross the work life home line and stay on one side or the other.
00:28:44.638 --> 00:28:48.756
For example, you could create a walk the dog ritual.
00:28:48.756 --> 00:29:05.038
When you get home, maybe you spend the first half an hour, after you've changed out of your work clothes and got tomorrow's clothes ready, going on a family walk with the dog, or you and your family all do homework together, or you all prep dinner together.
00:29:05.038 --> 00:29:11.617
You're looking for activities that keep your brain away from work and focused on something else.
00:29:11.617 --> 00:29:23.519
If you live by yourself, maybe it's a hobby that you do as soon as you get home, or you spend time with your guitar or maybe on the piano, whatever it is.
00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:27.452
Maybe you can create a put the kids to bed ritual.
00:29:27.452 --> 00:29:29.616
Enjoy this time with your kids.
00:29:29.616 --> 00:29:37.858
If it's been a long time since you've tucked them in at night, then start it up again, because it will mean the absolute world to them.
00:29:37.858 --> 00:29:42.669
Have a glass of wine or beer or cup of tea with your significant other ritual.
00:29:43.751 --> 00:29:46.373
Think about what you can do Over dinner.
00:29:46.373 --> 00:29:51.269
You can ask your kids to share one thing that they loved about their day ritual.
00:29:51.269 --> 00:29:57.002
What you're doing here also is starting them off with an attitude of gratitude mindset.
00:29:57.002 --> 00:29:58.513
You go around the table.
00:29:58.513 --> 00:30:03.309
You share one thing that was the highlight of the day for each of you.
00:30:03.309 --> 00:30:10.329
Maybe it's a Monday ritual it would be nice if it was an every night ritual but maybe it's a Monday ritual or a Friday ritual.
00:30:10.329 --> 00:30:12.329
You can think of your own ritual.
00:30:12.329 --> 00:30:30.289
When my sisters and I were growing up, one wouldn't let us leave the dinner table until we'd recounted a times table that she had set for us, or she'd run us through our spelling or some other random educational task that she'd somehow invented.
00:30:30.289 --> 00:30:39.309
It was a ritual that we had for years and it marked the transition from dinner to it being almost time for bed.
00:30:39.309 --> 00:30:48.329
I honestly believe that instinctively, you'll know a ritual that will work for you and your line your line in the sand.
00:30:48.329 --> 00:30:52.329
You may have to experiment until you find something that clicks and works.
